You must've clicked on the wrong link or something, because now you're in The Lair. No one has the attention span to maintain a personal website anymore. You youngins are just too cool for that. I am not.

I started building websites in a time before Tumblr, Instagram, and whatever other social media happens to be big at the moment. I do enjoy Tumblr and, to a far lesser extent Facebook, but for me having a centralized website to collect items from my various interests will always be a necessity. Anyway, here's a random slide show.

It’s no accident I get two poems
When other poets get only one
I may not have more to say
But my set needs twice the run

It isn’t that I like your poems less
Or I like my poems more
But let’s face it, when I’m on this stage
I’m a complete attention whore

I’m the prima dona poet
Who just refuses to sit down
I don’t care how loud the DJ
Starts turning up James Brown

I’ll start loud, then I’ll get louder
Every poem will sound alike
I’ll be obnoxious like a 2 year old
While I hog this mike

I was an only child, yes
However did you guess?
Whether you like my stuff or not
At least act like you’re impressed

I need all eyes on me
Attention is better than food or money
Make sure you laugh out loud
If I say something even remotely funny

I’ll scream and bounce and yell “Lookit me!”
I’ll spit poems until my throat’s sore
I’ll do a 30-minute feature
Then an hour-long encore

I’ve always got another poem handy
I want to read you everything I write
I was the third person on the open mic list
But I’ll be closing this venue tonight

I’ll act like my poems have a hidden meaning
Or a lesson I can teach
I’ll take so long at introduce my work
Each poem will take a week.

I’ll be talking for so long
My voice will drive you nuts
By the time they kick me off this stage
You’ll hate That Zach Kid’s guts

So please, make me feel loved
Give my life some worth
Tell me I’m the greatest poet
Who ever walked this Earth

Make as much noise as you can
For my fleeting moment of fame
And when it’s your turn on this stage
I promise I’ll do the same.